Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The defense of Texas was tight
From the catcher, and later from right
.    From third to the plate
.    was a distance too great
and Cabrera was out like a light
Jim Leland put Beltre on first
Of the options that proved to be worst
.    The dreamed double-play
.    was singled away
And by Nelson, Detroit was submersed
For Rangers, the game ended happily
with thanks to their catcher Mike Napoli
.    There won’t be no crown
.    to wear in MoTown
if Tigers don’t stop playing crappily
Martinez had banged up his frame
And Beltre was dinged, almost lame
.   Two pros that were sore
.   both chose to ignore
the pain for the sake of the game
In Detroit there is reason to shout
Their boys this post season are stout
.   They might not be pretty
.   but these Tigers are gritty
They’re poised and they’re toughin’ it out
The hard-stuff was raining in Texas
Said the Tigers, “Their fastballs just wrecked us.”
.   Both bullpens were great
.   but Feliz got three straight:
His pitching was all about Xs
Cruz Control
The trouble with loading the bases
is for runners you’ve run out of places
.   And go extra innings
.   your woe’s just beginning,
’cause brother, you’ve run out of aces
A walk or a homer — you choose
A ball or a strike — they both lose
.   The bases are loaded,
.   your bullpen’s eroded,
and tall at the plate: Nelson Cruz
All the network media dorks
Sing the praises of New York
They hate visiting places strange
Like Motown and the Texas Range
They’d rather crawl through Gotham sewers
Than watch the Snakes or Rays or Brewers.
They’re happy as a dog with bone
To stay in th’ Eastern Time Zone.
But Yankees pitching ain’t worth a lick.
The Phillies are my pick, in six.