By Stuart Shea
Twenty runs the Rangers scored,
Seven of them had three hits.
Every arm the Twins ran out there
Gave Ron Gardenhire the shits.
Various Action of 6-21
by Ember Nickel
Paul
Hit a ball
Out for his fifth straight day. No Sox
Bat has got six straight days of park-vacating knocks.
Mitch
Also hit a ball out, which
Put things such that his squad won.
No outs–not a pitch (bar 10 and a half prior innings’ worth)–prior to winning run.
Zack
Didn’t lack
For Ks,
Notching 10 against Rays.
Ryan Howard
Is not a coward.
His hit wound up a big inning
So his squad wound up winning.
Brian
Had to start pitching, as Placido and Ryan
Both got hit by a pitch
On back-to-back plays, that inning. At that point, you must switch.
Carl Pavano
Had to go mano-a-mano
With his opposing moundsman. Carl didn’t notch a hit
But as his squad had 8 in as many at-bats, was cool with it.
Justin Smoak
Was part of a ninth-inning croak.
His squad was up by four
But couldn’t shut Washington’s door.
Ember Nickel blogs at Lipogram! Scorecard!
Fanfare
by Edmund Conti
Fans in New England (the Red Sox Nation)
Are masochists in anticipation.
Yankee fans are clever guys
Two strikes on batter, they all rise
Sophisticated crowd. Who knew
All of them could count to two?
The Cubby fans are loud and jivey,
Or are they rooting for the ivy?
It’s Baseball Night in Canada, eh?
Do the Blue Jays fight or do they play?
Texas loves the Texas Rangers
To the rest of us they’re total strangers.
Mets fans shout it:
Fuhgeddaboudit!
Good players are what their diamond lacks
But their fans still cheer the Diamondbacks.
The team is shaky in Seattle
The players may but the fans don’t rattle.
Florida fans all like to laze
Watch the game, take in the Rays.
Some fans will cheer and that’s
All we have for the Washington Nats.
Philadelphia’s fandom
Cheers or boos—it’s random.
Ode to Oddibe
by Jim Siergey
A wildcat did prowl
The wind began to howl
and Oddibe McDowell
belongs in a Bob Dylan song.
.
Jim Siergey is the author and illustrator of the Cubs alternate history If They Did It. You can see more of his illustration work at his website here.
AL West 2011 Haiku Predictions
By Stuart Shea
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM
So Peter Bourjos
Is the fastest man around.
Can he steal first base?
OAKLAND ATHLETICS
A new sun rising
On the bay…change is coming
For Balfour or Wuertz.
SEATTLE MARINERS
How long can the M’s
Stick with Milton Bradley’s act
Til the game’s over?
TEXAS RANGERS
Is it a surprise
That the Rangers have acquired
A pitcher named Bush?