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Cruz Control!

By Stuart Shea

Nellie started with the Mets, but never raised the roof.
Some said he had power, but he never showed much proof.
Next, Nellie played for Oakland, but he couldn’t get a chance.
Nellie went up north, but Milwaukee didn’t dance.

So Nellie went to Dallas, and did well in Triple-A,
And showed that he could hit enough to hang around and play!
Five years in Seattle, and one more with the Birds,
A six-time All-Star, a homer crown, biceps too strong for words.

Now he’s simply Boomstick, a respected veteran bat,
And the Twins are happy with that.

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Limerick Time with the Yankees!

by JM

Here comes our buddy Lance Lynn
Remember when we took him in?
To save our rotation
And catch Red Socks Nation…
His season belonged in the bin.

Now he’s an ace with the Rangers
A symbol of all of the dangers
Of letting Cash loose
To get pitching, by Zeus…
His choices can hardly get stranger.

This, like so many other good things, comes from the Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…caught.

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All-Star Clerihews #4 — Clerihews Must Die

Mike Moustakas
Shakes air-maracas
When he sets his phone to play
“Not Fade Away.”

Anthony Rendon
Is bad to the bone
A little George Thoroughgood
Puts him in a killer mood.

George Springer
Is adroit with dingers
And often later
Brings more taters.

Hunter Pence
Is still intense
But has learned to be discrete
In the Texas heat.

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Applause, Please, for the Retirees

by James Finn Garner

As the season ends and the playoffs loom,
Let us pause a sec and make some room
In our doggerel feed for those athletes
Who’re hanging up mitts and jocks and cleats.

The Jints will miss ol’ Hunter Pence
Of flaming beard and glare intense.

After so many seasons, Bartolo Colon
Will finally get to shower alone.

Minnesotans, pray to your higher power
For another guy even close to Mauer.

Now David Wright, Mets’ grand old man,
Will have to watch them choke from the stands.

With the Angels’ collapse, Mike Scioscia
Might do well inspecting for OSHA.

Chase Utley being out of the game
Frees me from trying to rhyme his name.

And with no regrets, let’s bid adieu
And good riddance to Chief Wahoo.