By Doug White
The Pope in his big funny hat
Gave mass where Joe Torre once sat
A little old lady
Said, “Well yea, but maybe
What would Ron Blomberg say about that?”
Posted 4/21/08
Stadium Name Game
By James Finn Garner
What to name dear Wrigley Field
As history to commerce yields?
Should it be named for Ken-L Ration
To halt “dog days” for Cubbie Nation?
As ticket prices cull the rank
And file, maybe Citibank?
As young draft picks all go bust,
“Mr. Clean” might lift the dust.
Pepsi Cola? Dell Computers?
Honda Motors? Air-Wick? Hooters?
The problem’s not to name the place—
It’s how to win a pennant race.
We’ll know the team’s completely dotty
If Sweet Lou’s christened “Lou Malnati.”
Posted 4/14/08
OPENING DAY…
By Gary Gillette
Opening Day. Green.
April grass: green. Ballpark, green.
Fans’ hearts red—heads blue.
Posted 4/8/08
Ballpark Food
by Todd Pheifer
What’s wrong with these vendors
Loudly hawking their wares?
An arm and a leg for a beer,
And nobody cares!
Of course I can hold off,
But my kids are entranced
With the cotton candy man
Weaving sugary romance.
He comes down the row,
Waving food at eye level.
Away from us, man!
Your food is the devil!
We’ve brought our own, thanks,
Smuggled in Mom’s big pack,
Peanuts and popcorn
And goodies for snacks.
So enjoy the ballpark
And the shifting strike zone,
But if you want to eat there,
Better take out a loan.
Posted 9/28/07
An Ode to Wild Bill Hagy (1938-2007)
By Stuart Shea
Wild Bill Hagy was an Orioles fan,
Looked like most any other big man,
Belly hanging low over loose blue jeans,
Full of cold beer and likewise of beans.
Back in the days ‘fore Camden Yards,
When the orange-clad O’s held all the cards,
Wild Bill Hagy was a half-crazed horse
Who pawed his ground as a cheerleading force.
He stood on the dugout during each game
And spelled out “Orioles” with his mighty frame.
Every O’s fan from near and far
Watched Wild Bill—he became a star.
The years rolled on and the O’s declined,
They left Memorial for a new state of mind.
Hagy didn’t lead cheers at the new park,
The team’s new owners didn’t like that spark.
And now he’s gone, though memories hold,
Of the glorious days of Orioles old,
Of Weaver and Murray, Palmer and Cal,
Dempsey, Roenicke, Pat Kelly, and Al.
Gimme an H!
Gimme an A!
Gimme a G!
Gimme a Y!
What’s that spell?
Posted 8/29/2007