Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The transistor radio
I smuggled into
Sister Geraldine’s class
Broadcast heavenly images
The centerfielder moved to short
The old lion roaming in right
The mighty arms of Willie the Wonder
The soulful stare of Lolich
The plate protected by Freehan
(None shall pass)
All the saints and martyrs
Bringing a miracle to Motown
Narrated by the voice of God
In his sweet Georgia drawl
Soccer is clearly the game of the day–
Most popular in the world, experts say.
A herd of gazelles lope over a “pitch”
Scoring almost never–ain’t it a bitch
An entire nation can lose its mind
On a 1-0 final? In opposite kind,
A pitchers duel ends 1-0, and the lame
Wail for more offense in our game.
Two months down
Brewers leading the division
Cain and Yelich
Better than advertised
Shutdown bullpen
As good as any in baseball
Pundits not impressed
Offense not consistent
Starting pitching
Questionable at best
Numerous players must step up
The next four months
For the Brewers to remain in contention
Fans expecting a bumpy ride
Following the crew
“Buck’s been canned” are the words which we pray.
You’d be banned if we fans had our way.
We can’t stand you, now please stay away.
Here’s a grand, there’s a highway, go play.
Goodbye pitches and homers well struck
So long switch-hits and gnome-beards for luck
No more blasts, no more clout
That’s the last, final out
It’s a bitch–but there’s no more Joe Buck.