Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Each year as they’re breaking apart
the Cubs wake an ache in my heart
.   The shame of a fan
.   of a lame also-ran
who’ve raised the mistake to an art
.
For Hilary’s daily limericks on film noir and classic movies, check out LimerWrecks.
These are the saddest of all possible words:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Flew up like a hawk and fell back like a turd.
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Ruthlessly pricking my gonfalon testes,
Causing me pain from my east to my westies,
Never again will I be at my besties:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
In the stands the fans stick to their seats,
watching batter turn red as a beet.
.    Jersey clinging, he schvitzes
.    He swings and he misses
The pitcher is bringing the heat.
Check out Hilary’s other limericks at LimerWrecks.
Where the dreams come from not everyone knows
but the fortunate few who the old coaches chose
stand straight now in two perpendicular rows
recite the good pledge, then take a few throws.
The glare of bright lights, the cameras, the action
excite each young ballplayer’s loud hometown faction
and give tickled fathers some proud satisfaction
that’s tempered with hope, and a tinge of distraction.
A few in the Big Show once played on this stage
but so many more advance to old age
not reaching this peak of pure athletic rage –
a peak just a championship will assuage.
With fundraising over, long practices done
it’s time for the whole world to tune into fun:
to watch catchers gun and the fast runners run;
to see which team ends up on top, number one.
Regular contributor Todd Herges has passed along the exciting news that his son, Jack, plays on the new Nebraska state champ Little League team! Congrats to Jack and the squad from Kearney!
This season the Cubbies are ghastly.
The team’s overpaid something vastly.
.    Against ne’er -do-well clubs,
.    these error-prone schlubs
are beaten so bad they’ll end lastly.
The Cub fan deserves our attention.
Their club’s always out of contention.
.    Yet they patiently cheer
.    as they wait til next year.
What they need is a team intervention.
.
Check out the rest of Hilary’s rhyme and illustration work at LimerWrecks.