2012 NL Central Prediction Haikus
By Stuart Shea
CHICAGO CUBS
Behold the savior!
He slouches toward Wrigleyville
And shops at J. Crew.
CINCINNATI REDS
Scott’s Rolen along
At least as much as one “rolls”
On two rusty wheels.
HOUSTON ASTROS
In a great big barn
The inhabitants will smell…
25 heifers
MILWAUKEE BREWERS
The abdication
Means the Milwaukee lineup
Will welcome the Mat.
PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pretty park, green grass,
Lovely statue, tasty beer,
Clint Barmes at short
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Elders leave the grounds,
Leaving the young ones to play
The eternal game.
“The Opener and the Closer”: Cubs-Nationals, Opening Day 2012
By Hilary Barta
As the management turns a new leaf
The old fans are relearning their grief
As the ace, Dempster’s strong,
But then brace for what’s wrong,
And make plans to get burned in relief.
Baseball
by Joshua J. Ballard and Connor Dooley
Connor and Josh performing their poem “Baseball” at The Cantab Lounge in Boston, Mass., at The National Poetry Slam in 2011. They were representing The Loser Slam venue from New Jersey.
2012 NL East Prediction Haiku
by Stuart Shea
ATLANTA BRAVES
So many moons past…
The spring of Chipper gives way
To rust and pallor
MIAMI MARLINS
New house and new name
Young folks up til all hours
The Blizzard of Ozz
NEW YORK METS
They built this Citi.
Now they have to live in it
Short fences or not
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
At the keystone sack
Nothing but questions surface
In this pennant Chase
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Message from the East—
“Beware high expectations”
Tapped out in Morse code
(It’s a) Spring Thing
by Hilary Barta
Take the bats and the balls and the batters
Add the catcalls and hall-of-fame statters
Then the scouting reports
That drown out other sports –
It’s the national pastime that matters
For the best in limericks, discerning doggerelists always insist on Hilary Barta’s poems at LimerWrecks.
