Another Sub-.500 Year

By James Callan

The crack of the bat is more addicting than crack
or crackerjacks, for that matter,
as the batter cracks a jack
into the third deck, oh heck!
It clips the end of my glove,
my beer, obliterated on the big screen above.
While down on the diamond, bat flip, mad pride,
silver or gold bobbing with the swag of each stride
as some Bronx Bomber rounds the bases,
all those loud, elated New York faces.
And me, in my Twins hat
wishing just once that
1991 would come again,
Homer Hanky, Minnesota zen.
Me, still thinking about Chili Davis, Kirby Puckett.
Another sub-500 year; you know what? Fuck it.

James Callan grew up in Minneapolis. He lives on the Kāpiti Coast, New Zealand and is more than likely the biggest Twins baseball fan in the country. He lives on a small farm with his wife Rachel and his little boy Finn.

 

How the White Sox Can Win the Division

by James Finn Garner

Change the door signs at Comiskey
Slip a mickey in his whiskey
Sew shut the legs of all his pants
Name him ambassador to France
Secure his cleats in wet cement
Arrange a honey pot with Iris DeMent
Stow him away on a flight to the moon–
Do anything! And do it soon!

Waiting for Comeuppance

by James Finn Garner

In the Midwest we’re not prone to bragging
We like socks with sandals and double-bagging
We like a 30-pack and jerky from Kasey’s
And are still suspicious of Macy’s.
We don’t get too big for our britches
Unless the subject is hot dishes.
We take our time reaching decisions
And are in no rush to win the division.