by Jim Siergey
During a boozy liaison
(Not an unusual occasion)
The Commerce Comet
Commenced to vomit
Leaving Angie no room for evasion.
For the background, turn to Page Six.
Mick Says, “Don’t Drink and Dive”
MLB All-Cannabis Team
1B Â Boo Powell
2B Â Buzzy Wares
SS Â Roxey Roach
3B Â Xander (Don’t) Bogaerts
LF Â Ducky Hemp
CF Â Chilli Davis
RF Â Buzz Boyle
C Â Â Taylor Teagarden
PH Â Bert Weeden
RHP Â Lil Stoner, Tobi Stoner, Herb Hash
LHP Â Jung Bong, Josh Smoker
MGR Â Â Dusty Baked
Cup Snake Guy
by Danny Rockett (@DannyRockett)
Hope, Diamond
by James Finn Garner
A hundred bucks for an obstructed seat
Cold in the shadow, then blistering heat
The pushy stat-head who needs a shower
Nine inning games that last six hours
Fans in my row with tiny bladders
The $30 million .240 batter
Ear-blistering rock soundtrack
Fourteen dollar Cracker Jacks
Security lines that go on for days
Video reviews, endless delays
Wasted bankers on company plastic
Knucklehead experts so bombastic
Lazy players, greedy owners
Chatterboxes, needy loners
Pina colada spilled down my back–
Goddamnit, I want baseball back!
NOpening Day
by Raphael Badagliacca
No wind up
No pitch
No swing
No hit and no miss
No peanuts
No crackerjacks
Only memories and hope