by Millie Bovich
Without question, their record’s abysmal
And the rest of the season looks dysmal
What will it take?
We need more than a break
And a spoonful of pink Pepto-Bismol!
All-Star Clerihews #4 — Clerihews Must Die
Mike Moustakas
Shakes air-maracas
When he sets his phone to play
“Not Fade Away.”
Anthony Rendon
Is bad to the bone
A little George Thoroughgood
Puts him in a killer mood.
George Springer
Is adroit with dingers
And often later
Brings more taters.
Hunter Pence
Is still intense
But has learned to be discrete
In the Texas heat.
All-Star Clerihews #2 — Clerihews Unbound
Pete Alonso
In the HR Derby goes gonzo
But he’d never stoop to flay
A beat reporter from Newsday.
Yusmani Grandal
Thinks the Rock N Roll Hall
Of Fame lacks any substance,
But he still wants to see George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” pants.
Tommy LaStella
Is just a reg’lar fella
Who’d gladly have a beer and a bump
In any Ohio low-rent dump.
Mookie Betts
Likes to bring his pets–
Some anoles and a cane toad–
With him on the road.
All-Star Clerihews
Jose Abreu
DJ LaMahieu
And Hyun-Jin Ryu
Are my first triple-header All-Star clerihew!
Ketel Marte
Is a portable partay!
He’ll enjoy your booze
Whatever brand of vodka you choose
Jake Odorizzi
Better take it easy
And resist all that’s there to seduce and shock
On Cleveland’s red-light block.
Paul DeJong
Wears a lucky spangled thong
When the Cards are on a winning streak–
That guy’s a SuperFreak!
London (Stadium) Calling
by Stephen Jones
The Yankees and Red Sox
Are sharing a game with the Brits
On June 29th and 30th.
Will it be a Boston Tea Party,
In reverse, or a Yankee
Version of English breakfast?