by Hilary Barta
The throng full of hope and “Hey, heys!”
King Kong (the big dope) could amaze
Cracker Jack and ol’ Ernie
Drifting back on a journey
To those long-ago Opening Days.
American League West 2014 Spring Training Haiku
By Stuart Shea
ASTROS
An Appel a day
Would keep the losses away
But he’s not yet ripe.
ANGELS
Ask A. Moreno–
Trout fishing in Cali
Can be expensive.
ATHLETICS
Free and well-favored,
No-names and others’ castoffs
Find their own success.
MARINERS
East coast import
Finds rain not to his liking
Even under roof.
RANGERS
Wash likes sac bunting.
His fellow skippers are glad
To accept the out.
Losstown Classic: Flubs Vs. Sux
by Hilary Barta
What a year, there’s a lot to forget
Wipe it clear, like you’d blot a bad debt
No more seasons of pain
No reprise! No refrain!
Drink your beer — down a shot, better yet.
Hilary Barta, famed comic illustrator (The Simpsons, SpongeBob), runs the pop culture limerick site LimerWrecks, to which you should direct your browser now.
A Point of Comparison
By Stuart Shea
How bad were the White Sox?
Three games worse than the Cubs.
The Cubs,
Who played like shubdubs,
Like scrubs,
Like Triple-A subs,
Who made each day a gallery of flubs,
Those ridiculous bubs,
Who gave their fans the nubs,
Who drove those fans to local pubs,
To drown their sorrows in bad beer from huge tubs
And eat greasy deep-fried grub
That hardens their arteries like cigarette stubs
And makes them all fat.
The Sox were worse than that.
The Bullpen Grass
by James Finn Garner
Chris Perez and his old lady
Were caught last week in something shady.
The closer, FedEx at the door,
Welcomed a surprising score.
To give himself some legal cover,
The genius had it mailed to Rover.
Does he think one must be baked
To pitch in the Mistake by the Lake?
If Chris wants to invest in stalks, he
Might finagle a trade to the Rockies.