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Superhero Night with the West Michigan Whitecaps

by James Finn Garner

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To augment the human-sized, foam-rubber eyeball footraces
(Sponsored by a local optometrist)
And the hot wieners bazooka’d into the crowd
(Brought to you by an insurance agency)
And the horrible-hued disco dance contest
(Courtesy of Q-107–“You Can’t Stop The Rock”),
The special events crew rented costumes
Of Captain America and The Hulk,
Complete with stitched-in muscles,
And waved and flexed and danced and clowned.

In between,
Pitchers strained,
Batters swung,
Fielders pounced,
Dreaming of the show.

Posted 7/19/10

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Pork Haiku #1

By Gary Gillette

In honor of broadcaster Mario Impemba who, during the April 12 Tigers broadcast, talked about how Royals skipper Trey Hillman had managed the “Ham Fighters”…

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Nippon Ham Fighters!
WTF? Americans
Fear Pugnacious Pork.

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Posted 4/29/10

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Opening Day

by Stephen Jones

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Like Christmas a day
to be opened
bat and ball ball and bat

to argue in summer sunshine
disputing calls/balls on base
here/there and beer and brats

and then a quiet ride home

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Posted 4/14/10

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On a Possible Rockies-Cardinals Playoff

By Stuart Shea

Rocks usually roll downhill.
These Rockies aren’t just landfill.

Left for dead in early May,
They’re in the playoff hunt today.

Playing halfway up the sky,
The Rockies feel a mile high.

The Cards may be their October foe,
Which ought to make a lovely show.

They’ll face a guy they used to pay–
That hitting star, Matt Holliday.

With Denver smog vs. St. Louis heat,
The Coors and Bud should flow quite sweet.

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Posted 9/22/2009

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“And He LINES to Third for the Second Out of the Inning!”

by Todd Herges

Harry Caray, a cup ‘o Bud and thou:
A day-game audience tuned to Channel 9.
With Stone up in the booth to keep it sane,
Up to the plate steps Galarraga now.
The bums in left all crowd around The Man,
Girls topped in bikinis fight to kiss his cheek.
Harry would like to do this every week
But risks abound:  beer vendors in the stands.

(He can’t quite hold it like he did in youth.)
Late in the game, while drinking his last pitcher –
Though bleacher visits each time thrill the crowd –
Steve must correct his mis-call from the booth:
“Um, Harry, that was thrown from the catcher.
The Big Cat, Galarraga, just struck out.”

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Posted 6/15/2009