More Unwritten Rules of Baseball

by James Finn Garner

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Don’t congratulate a teammate by faking a high five and delivering a hard nad shot.

Don’t talk about racism except in the context of how Jackie Robinson eliminated it.

Rhapsodize about the integrity of the game, but don’t make any big deal about desperately poor Dominican 15-year-olds being drafted by shady agents and advised by “scouts.”

Don’t try and bunt against a pitcher pitching a perfect game unless, you know, you’re trying to help your team score.  Like you’re paid to do.

On-field displays of excitement add too much energy and character to the game, and so must be avoided.

Don’t ever criticize a veteran teammate in the media, even when he lets down the squad. Only rookies can be criticized.

Don’t comment on the herd mentality and obsequious jocksniffery of sportswriters.

And however long you play or watch the game….

Don’t expect to like Alex Rodriguez.

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Posted 6/2/2010

Casey on the Mound (Fourth World Series Game, 1941)

by Joe Pacheco


The outlook was so brilliant for the Brooklyn Nine that day.
The score stood four to three with but one inning left to play.
And when Sturm died on first and Red Rolfe did the same,
A mighty expectation filled the faithful at the game.
They thought if Casey could deliver as he had not yesterday,
The series would be tied with three more games to play.

But Henrich was now batting, with DiMaggio standing by,
And there was three and two on Tommy when Casey let it fly,
And when the moistened sphere broke down upon the plate
Henrich swung and missed it — Strike Three! — the roar was great,
Except that Mickey Owen, All-Star catcher of the year
Had let the ball roll by him with no other player near.

So upon the stricken multitude a sudden panic sat,
The game had not yet ended and DiMaggio was at bat.
Joltin’ Joe let drive a single to the dread dismay of all,
And Charlie “King Kong” Keller tore the cover off the ball,
And when the dust had lifted and they looked to see the score:
New York Yankees five, Brooklyn Dodgers only four!

But Casey wasn’t finished as the Flatbush Faithful found.
The game is never over with Casey on the mound.
A walk and another double put icing on the cake.
Two more runs for seven on Casey’s last mistake.

O nowhere in the Flatlands were there eyes without a tear.
From Coney Isle to Bushwick, they kept crying in their beer.
Fourteen more years they waited for a World Champion to be crowned,
Thanks to Owen’s All-Star catching and Casey on the mound.

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Posted 5/21/2010

Putting Junior to Bed

By Stuart Shea

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He no longer earns a roster spot
Or even earns his keep.
The one thing that Ken Griffey’s earned
Is a nice long sleep.

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Posted 5/17/10