Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
BRAVES
No Glavine. No Smoltz.
“Chipper” Jones no longer is.
Where has my youth gone?
.
MARLINS
If a ball club plays
In an empty stadium
Does anyone hear?
.
METS
A pleasant spring, but
No Reyes of sun for the Mets.
FBI? Thyroid?
.
PHILLIES
Is this an old team?
Well, 18 of them were born
Before Reagan’s years.
.
NATIONALS
As Strasbourg links France
and Germany, Steve Strasburg
spans Nats’ talent gap.
Posted 4/4/10
by Stephen Jones
.
Fans blue-covered waves
Crested with white confetti
Their cheers an ocean
.
Posted 11-16-09
by Sid Yiddish
.
A 27th title
A 27th crown
I don’t believe it,
Did those Yankees buy it off like the 2003 Florida Marlins?
What’s a little extra cash between friends?
What’s a little stash hidden, what’s a little trash talk, just coz other teams didn’t win?
Blame it on the Yankees.
Since 2001 have been buying players black-market style, just to satisfy the fans.
Blame it on the Yankees
When A-Rod takes steroids
Blame it on the Yankees
When umpires look the other way
Blame it on the Yankees
When a new stadium was built and cost a ton
Blame it on the Yankees
When the new yarns are spun
Blame it on the Yankees
When the old legends mysteriously disappeared
Blame it on the Yankees
When they played on our worst fears
Blame it on the Yankees
When the Phillies lost hard
Blame it on the Yankees
When they caught the fans off-guard
Blame it on the Yankees
When they pulled hits out of thin air
Blame it on the Yankees
When they won the World Series fair and square
Blame it on the Yankees
Blame it on the Yankees
Because they always will.
.
Posted 11/11/2009
By Stuart Shea
There was a big game going on in Detroit
To decide the Eastern division champ
But my brother and I were at Comiskey
Where despite the October sunshine
The atmosphere was damp.
I was 24 but even then had an overarching sense
of melancholy.
The last game of a mediocre season?
Perfect fit for me.
The Sox beat the Athletics 5-2.
No big deal; neither team
Was going anywhere but home.
One reason we went is that we knew it would be Reggie Jackson’s last game ever.
So we alternately cheered and booed him.
He got two hits.
When the game ended
Ozzie Guillen threw his glove high in the air
And I hoped that it would never come down.
.
Posted 10/21/2009
by Hilary Barta
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The haunt of Octobers of olde,
The field named for Wrigley’s grown cold,
Faint echoes from bats
Of men who wear spats
Who late in the season don’t fold.
This season for Cubbies is toast.
As always, they’re missing the “post”.
There’s curses and theories
Why Cubs won’t host series.
They ought to just give up the ghost.
Each year the Cubs try to remold,
Each year the fan’s hope is fool’s gold,
But millionaire fans
Hatch bankruptcy plans:
The team to a diehard’s been sold.
.
Well known as a comic artist, Hilary Barta also runs the terrific site Limerwrecks, featuring limericks on swamp monsters, film noir, comic books, and pop culture. Its daily content is a must-read.
Posted 10/20/2009