By Stuart Shea
The truth is now revealed
Though Guantanamo’s concealed.
We only welcome foreigners
If they can play right field.
Posted 4/9/08
By Stuart Shea
The truth is now revealed
Though Guantanamo’s concealed.
We only welcome foreigners
If they can play right field.
Posted 4/9/08
Which one handled Hoyt
Wilhelm’s fabled knuckleball first
with a mitt so large it looked illegal?
Slow-footed Gus Triandos
or tough guy Clint Courtney?
You’d think John and I were
Oriole fans we used
their names so much!
If there was hostility or money bet
we might have checked it out
at the library but we chose
to keep that dispute
alive as if it were religion or politics
through college and summers
of painting and paving.
Days there was no work
we retreated to the bars
and those names appeared
in the smoke and pool cue dust
at the Wood’s End Bar.
Were the bar stool seats
the size of the glove in question?
At the Ship’s Lantern there were
captain chairs and frosty mugs
to scrawl those two names on
when we weren’t toasting
the procession of braless
Westport women — especially
those with just the right perk
and handful to bring
Hoyt’s flaky pitch to mind.
Years shot by like errant
horsehide before John’s letter
with a clipping came.
In small print it said my pick,
Scrap Iron Clint, had debuted
the trashcan lid of a mitt in 1960.
That bit of newspaper has turned
as yellow as Hoyt’s dainty lobs
must have looked to a catcher
who led the league in brawling.
Posted 11/1/07Â
Pity the poor Red Sox.
Yesterday’s underdog,
Former Team of Destiny,
The A.L.’s demanding darling.
It’s hard to punch your underdog card
With the second biggest payroll around,
Plus Ortiz, Ramirez, Beckett, Papelbon,
And all the guys in biker beards.
No longer the sentimental favorite,
The team that is due.
They grow up so fast these days.
Now a financial juggernaut
That must win win win
To satisfy the local yankees
And thwart the distant ones,
Bleeding away their charm
Faster than Schillling.
The wise man said,
“Choose your enemies well, for you will come to resemble them.”
Who knew Sun Tzu
Was a Red Sox fan?
Posted 10/24/07Â
Yo Willie McGee,
Hey Willie McGee
Your bat will stay still if you listen to me
It goes back and forth,
Precision Swiss watch
So try not to move and bust balls like Ed Koch
But wait, now you’re still
And obeying some rule
That was set out to force you to suffer a fool!
My bad, Willie Dean
Stay the same, keep that swing
Tick the tock of your bat and you’ll be MVP!
Visit Sandy and his improv comedy palz at the Schadenfreude website.Â
Posted 10/23/07
Could have been the jingle
of his name that led him
to the banking game.
But then again, he was
“Chet Thrift” with runs
back in fifty-one
When his ERA was lowest
in the Senior Circuit —
his winning mark
just a tad higher
than prime!
Posted 10/19/07Â