Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Caleb Wiley
Big Klu and his guns struck fear
In opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His biceps were frightening indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
Posted 8/21/2007
Big Klu and his guns struck fear
Into opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His biceps were frightening, indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed–
The Mighty Big Klu was he!
Posted 8/21/2007
By James Finn Garner
NEWS ITEM: Bobby Cox was ejected from Tuesday’s game by umpire Ted Barrett. This was Cox’ 132nd ejection, breaking the all-time record previously held by John McGraw.
Bobby Cox, did you feel rejection
When you broke McGraw’s mark for ejections?
Noble Brave, please don’t pout,
‘cuz getting thrown out
Endears you to our cheering section.
by James Finn Garner
To the Holy Land arid and brown
Comes a pastime of bases and balls,
Where a slugger might smack one downtown,
As the summertime slows to a crawl.
From Modi’in to Petach, they field nine
On a diamond so green near the sand,
While a host of young players will shine
With the shade of Hank Greenberg at hand.
Just one problem: whene’er a young moose
With sharp eye takes four balls, hanging tough,
He won’t take his base, claiming, “We Jews
“Have been walking since Moses! Enough!”
Posted 8/7/07
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You are your own Bossage,
You have your own mitt that you sign and Embossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You always will Flossage,
Your round rolling stone will ne’er gather no Mossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You boot up with DOSsage,
You always predict the results of coin Tossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
Your car drives with Nossage,
And you play like you dance, like the winged Bob Fossage.
(Sandy’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)
Posted 8/3/07