Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
In this bubble-ball age,
Anything can happen —
Including a socially distanced
Rivalry between two teams
That actually hate each other.
I grew up hearing about crimson stuff
Just like this — you know,
New York vs Boston, and the like, and
It made going to school easier then.
New York vs Tampa now does the same.
It may be a new world, now, what
With social media and a pandemic,
But some gut things just don’t change.
When Mr. G took the mound
The bullpen could rest
There was no need for them
Any one could attest
When it came down to winning
The Big G was the best
Just his baleful stare
Made hitters take a breath
But he could not stare down
Mr. Death
This year’s MLB playoff bubble
Has brought a lot of firsts:
If nothing else,
The longest 9-inning game.
Back-and-forth, back-and-forth,
And nine crazy plays —
Truth be told,
Both the Yankees and Indians
Tried to give the game away.
You can play 18 holes
(and have a good walk spoiled)
You can drive an 18-wheeler
(and get away from it all)
You can pass an 18th Amendment
(so no one can toast, at least legally)
You can watch “18 Again”
(and feel as old as George Burns)
You can rock out to “I’m 18”
(and feel as old as Alice Cooper)
You can, in fact, do any of these things,
But you can’t play ball in October.
1BÂ Â Roy “Squirrel” Sievers
2BÂ Â Don “Gerbil” Zimmer
SSÂ Â Rabbit Maranville
3BÂ Â Muskrat Bill Shipke
OFÂ Â Shawn Hare
OFÂ Â Joe Rabbitt
OFÂ Â Mouses Alou
CÂ Â Â Paul Ratliff
PÂ Â Steve Ratzer, Jake Volz
MGRÂ Â Capybara Anson