Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
1B Gentleman Jim Hickman
2B Guy Ousley
SS Guy Sularz
3B Dude Esterbrook
LF Hi Ladd
CF Cool Papa Bell
RF Guy Curtright
C Chappy Lane
LHP Guy Hoffman, Rex Brothers
RHP Bob Feller, Robert Person, Bob Friend, Pete Ladd
MGR Manny Acta
Unlike Yogi later, I did say everything I said
And while a couple of the details related
might not have been entirely accurate, the substance was
I don’t mind being remembered as a storyteller,
but I sometimes wonder if that was why
the writers never elected me to the Hall of Fame:
because I was more entertaining than they were,
they dismissed how great a pitcher I was
I have to thank
Vito Barone
for introducing me to
Willie Mays.
Vito lived across the alley
and was appalled to learn
that at the age of nine
I knew nothing
about baseball.
That summer
he came over every day
and we would go across the street
to the empty lot
where he would teach me
to catch, field. throw
and hit a baseball.
Every day.
Where I grew up
you were either
a Cubs fan
or a Sox fan.
Vito was an anomaly
as he was a Giants fan.
Whenever the Cubs played the Giants
he’d invite me over
and we’d watch the games
on TV.
There I got to see Willie Mays
in his prime.
Also
McCovey, Marichal and Cepeda
but Willie was special.
He was magical.
So, thank you, Vito,
wherever you are.
With apologies to Ogden Nash’s “The Rhinoceros”
The rhino is a homely beast.
Our Ryno was a home run beast.
For human eyes he’s not a feast.
For Cubbie fans he was a feast.
Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros.
Hello, hello, you stalwart Ryne Sandberg-us.
I’ll stare at something less prepoceros.
I’ll admire your likeness as a bronze iceberg-us.
Welcome to the HOF pantheon outside of Wrigley.
Along with Ernie, Billy, Ronnie, Harry, and Fergie.
