By Dr. Rajesh C. Oza
Japanese concept
Of wabi-sabi captures
Cubs austerity
MLB All-St. Patrick’s Day Team
1B Hank Greenberg
2B Grant Green
SS Pumpsie Green
3B Andy Green
LF Mike Greenwell
CF Lenny Green
RF Danny Green
C Charlie Greene
LHP Chris Green
RHP Clarence Beers, Jameson Taillon, Suds Sutherland
MGR Dallas Green
Spin Rate
by Tom Lagasse
With curveballs bouncing hard into the dirt,
and four seamers zipping under his
opponent’s chins, Donald Trump’s spin rate
sends him to the training room twice a day for ice.
Preferring wildness over control, he doesn’t care
if he gets someone hurt. His fans cheer because
they believe he is the franchise’s savior
yet fail to understand this high spin rate
causes career-ending injuries. Perhaps
it is only a matter of time when the brief
hope of rebuilding and making the team
great again must wait another four years
if the country is not sold or relocated by then.
O Captain! My Captain!
by Hart Seely
O Captain! my Captain!
Our fearful trip is done,
The ship has sprung a thousand leaks,
The prize we sought is gone.
The end is near, the drums I hear,
The bleachers steadily clearing,
The faithful weep; in sight, a sweep,
Juan Soto disappearing.
But o, Boone! Boone! Boone!
Bring gallon jugs of wine,
For deep on deck my Captain lies,
Struck out, oh for nine.
Nothing Succeeds Like Succes$
by James Finn Garner
You’ve folded, wild cards
Go lay down, underdogs
We now have the battle of monoliths
Monitor vs. Merrimack
Hulk vs. Red Hulk
Kong vs. Godzilla, Part XXVI
The broadcast execs are happy
Numbers save their bacon
Talking heads can finally stop
Pretending they like visiting Milwaukee
They now can cover
The only coasts that matter
The long (ha!) drought is over
For NY and LA
And the rest of us can tune in
To the NBA
