Brandon’s No Babe, But Shohei What!

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

What’s he doing out there
on the pitching mound?
He looks more like a bear
than a throwing hound.

Position players
say their prayers,
when the manager
says, “You’re my reliever.”

Babe Ruth began his career
with a pitch that hitters feared.
But when he traded in his ball,
His bat made him Bunyanesque tall.

When Brandon Crawford pitched
Batters were not bewitched.
He had an astronomical 27.00 ERA.
So what, he wasn’t even batting his weight.

Some say Triple Crown threat Shohei never shoulda
Pitched, even if imitate Cy Young he coulda.
But over a 162-game season,
Let’s have some fun with batting/pitching treason.

Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.

Baseball Rooting

by Thomas O. Davenport

Your favorite athletes move from team to team
The hitters, hurlers, fielders all chase bucks
Old-time fan loyalty is but a dream
As players drive their wealth away in trucks

Free agents’ names and faces give no clue
So raise your voice for the best color scheme
Choose purple, crimson, orange, green or blue
Urge on your favorite sports apparel theme

Or pick the mascot that’s most bold and fierce
The one inclined to slash and slice and slay
With jaws that chomp and bloody claws that pierce
My Tiger dines on fricasseed Blue Jay

What’s more, our park serves only the best ale
No better motive could there be to cheer
And though our squad may flounder, flop and fail
Hip hip hooray! Let’s hear it for our beer!

When you select the club that you’ll support
The nine athletes for whom you’ll choose to root
Ignore the friendly confines of the sport
And contemplate the price in hard-earned loot

The cost is high each time you disembark
So back the team that charges less to park

Tom’s collection of comic verse, Get the Hell to Work, was published by Kelsay Books in 2020. 

 

Darn Sox

by Greg Simetz

“Say it ain’t so,”
a kid once asked Shoeless Joe
the year the White Sox turned to black

The same could be asked
of the current Sox cast
filled with the lame, the halt and hacks

So laughter erupts
when owner Reinsdorf instructs
he’ll move the team south to Tennessee

If a new stadium isn’t built
and financed to the hilt
with Illinois taxpayer’s sucker money

But a record-setting pace
in a season of historic disgrace
makes 120+ defeats a bona fide threat

So Jerry, pack your hitless wonders
and move instead to baseball’s dumpster,
next to the more lovable ‘62 Mets.