Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
ANGELS
Without its K-Rod,
Sun-dappled Orange County
Prepares for a fight.
ATHLETICS
Green-and-gold adorned
Athletes play in stadia
Named for software.
RANGERS
In football country,
The titans of summer’s game
Proceed unnoticed.
MARINERS
Tho Junior returns,
Creaky knees and failing sight,
The M’s will blow chunks.
.
Posted 4/3/09
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
From dawn to midnight
Glistening sweat beads cover
Guillen’s press spokesmen.
TWINS
Sweet April moonlight
Means “farewell” if the Twins are
Without Joe Mauer.
INDIANS
Each cool autumn
Indians fans get just the
Thin end of the Wedge.
ROYALS
Gold Kansas wheatfields
Yield more each season than
Green fields at Kauffmann.
TIGERS
A solar eclipse
Can’t match the disappearance
Of Dontrelle’s control.
Posted 4/1/09
By Stuart Shea
RAYS
Last year’s fish is cooked.
Singing songs of spring, the team
Trawls for the title.
RED SOX
Dust is in the air.
Dustin is in the infield.
Just get me a cloth.
YANKEES
$300 trillion
And they say they can’t afford
A spare infielder?
BLUE JAYS
Rock and hard place—both
Tough to climb when you work with
Canada dollars.
ORIOLES
When does that new show,
“Waiting for Weiters” come on?
Not quickly enough.
Posted 3/30/09.
by Stuart Shea
CUBS
Spring wish, autumn dreams
Green of youth and rust of age
Hope is…Kevin Gregg?
BREWERS
Prince Fielder’s a veg.
The racing sausages can
Rest easy all summer.
ASTROS
Bummer! Bits of sun
Are all that Minute Maid Park
Will see this season.
CARDINALS
Converted Skippy
Will be a sitting pigeon
For one hard slide.
REDS
Screw Dusty Baker!
The Reds have enough talent
To win despite him.
PITTSBURGH
Winter’s not the time
To start rebuilding a house
With no foundation.
Posted 3/23/09
by Stuart Shea
PHILLIES
Some defending champs
Next spring find their magic dust
Doesn’t work so well.
METS
Many suns have set
Since Pedro Martinez could
Throw over 90.
MARLINS
Buy season tickets!
We’ll throw in a free car wash
By Marlins players.
BRAVES
No Smoltz, No Maddux
Only Glavine left to fly
Their once-proud banner.
NATIONALS
Jim Bowden’s mission:
To leave behind a steaming pile
On Anacostia’s banks.
Posted 3/18/09