by Doug White
Walt and Bobby sitting in a tree,
S-I-G-N-I-N-G !
First came Corey,
Then came Willy,
Now there’s no hope of catching Philly
(or anybody else in the wild card race …)
Posted 3/5/09
Don’t the Fans Just Love It!
By Stuart Shea
The players fight at second base,
And don’t the fans just love it!
Some guy has blue paint on his face,
And don’t the fans just love it!
We’ll all yell loud and drink some beer,
We’re all so sure this IS the year,
We’ll scream ’til we forget our fear.
I don’t recall Mom’s maiden name…
And don’t the fans just love it!
I”ll look it up after the game,
And don’t the fans just love it!
Thank God the kids are back in school!
I’ll watch the game beside the pool.
My chin is covered with my drool.
I’ll buy my playoff tickets now,
And don’t the fans just love it!
I’ll pay the mortgage–don’t know how–
And don’t the fans just love it!
The owners and the players earn
More money than Britney can burn…
I’ll cry when I see my tax return,
And don’t the fans just love it!
Posted 10/22/08
Play Ball: The Last Two Words of an Anthem
by Todd Herges
As the home of the brave
fades now quickly away,
nobody stops to ask why
that the land of the free
came to suddenly be
a pariah destined to die.
While that banner yet waves
And the Fed tries to save,
I’d like to give it a try,
so with proof through the night,
I’ll state clearly my fight:
one reason, tinged with green dye.
To th’ red glare of rockets,
mobs hold out their pockets,
all empty, so let’s have a cry,
or on ramparts let’s watch
the World Series on Fox
to forget how big was the lie.
Posted 10/8/08
New York Bailout
By Stuart Shea
No Yankees! No Mets!
Send the networks your regrets!
There’ll be no ratings spike this time
From East Coast fans who fuss and whine.
Well, other teams play baseball, too.
The Angels, Dodgers, Cubs, and Crew.
The Phils and Red Sox made the dance
And Tampa’s got their first big chance.
Despite their highly-sal’ried men,
The Mets and Yankees choked again.
Now New York screams and moans and wails,
“Come fix us! We’re too big to fail!”
We’re waiting for some congressman
To moot a bill for Apple fans,
New fed’ral funds will soon begin
To cinch that New York always wins.
Posted 9/30/08.
Ned Yost, Done Like Rump Roast
by James Finn Garner
Milwaukee’s head honcho Ned Yost
Led his teams to October–almost.
When CC Sabathia
Didn’t prove a pa-NA-cea,
Ned’s career with the Brewers was toast.
Posted 9/16/08