Dodger Lament

By Stuart Shea

Being a Dodger used to mean something.
The blue, white and red,
An American team playing the game the right way.

Jackie, Newk, Campy, Junior Gilliam,
Duke Snider and Carl Furillo.
Drysdale and Sandy,
An integrated team in Brooklyn.

When did it start
To fall apart?
When O’Malley ripped out the borough’s heart
And took his business to California,
Greedy and mean,
Displacing locals living in the ravine?

My dad, a Dodgers fan since the 30s,
Watched his team go from Wills, Davis, and Fairly
To Bob Bailor and Jack Fimple–
It was almost that simple.

He swore off the team in 1985
When they brought up some gawky-looking flotsam pitcher named Tom Brennan
Who was just trying to survive.

He raised his leg like a flamingo
And fluttered junk toward the plate.
“That’s not a Dodger,” Dad said,
And he was right. The old team was dead.

There was Gibson’s homer in 1989,
A thrilling victory, a special time,
For a team that wasn’t very good,
But had magic and Orel.

Then Peter O’Malley sold the club to Fox,
Who treated the franchise like a TV show,
Jumping the shark with grumps like Gary Sheffield,
Raul Mondesi, Kevin Brown, Chan Ho Park,
Four managers in five years wandering in the dark
And winning no titles until Frank McCourt bought in.

Now, they’re just another team,
Trading their magic beans
For vets like Nomar, Andruw,
And the worst: Manny Being Manny.

What does it mean to be a Dodger
When a jaker and malcontent
Can wear the same colors as Jackie?
That’s not what his example meant.

Posted 8/27/08 

What Made Milwaukee Famous

Unfortunately
The Indians see
Their destiny.

And obviously
It’s going to be
A white-flag party.

Apparently
They drink C.C.
in Milwaukee.

Posted 7/8/08 

J.P. Ricciardi, Toronto’s Pencil-Pushing Party

By Stuart Shea

I.
J.P. Ricciardi, Toronto’s pencil-pushing party,
has a big, big, big, big, mouth.
Adam Dunn’s a hitter (tho J.P. sez he’s a quitter)
And he’s happy hacking homers in the south.

When Ricciardi, on the radio, dissed Dunn to Blue Jay nation,
It came without a thorough explanation.
Canadian guys, from B.C. to P.E.I,
Said, “J.P. must have skipped his medication!”

II.
Now J.P. says the two have talked it all over–
But Dunn says it just isn’t so.
The Jays fired their skipper, but look out, J. The Ripper–
You might be the next one to go.

Posted 6/30/08 

You Gotta Believe

by Jeffrey Felshman

For M. Donald Grant and Omar Minaya

So now, with Willie out of the way,
the Mets will really start to play.

If Willie hadn’t been standing in the way,
the Mets would be in first place today.

Since they’ve pushed Willie out of the way,
Mets management’s turned night into day.

Finally, with Willie out of the way,
the Mets are going all the way,
and Mets homers will fill Flushing Bay.
and a championship team will reign in Shea.

Now Beltran, Delgado, and Jose Ray
and Mets players too numerous to name,
will take their places in the Hall of Fame.

Because Willie Randolph is out of their way.

Posted 6/25/08 

Willie, McLaren, and John

By Stuart Shea

Has anybody seen my old pal Willie?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
The Mets are playing badly, and that surely was not planned.
I turned around and he’s canned.

Anybody here seen John McLaren?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
Even the rats are deserting Seattle’s ship.
And hiring Jim Riggleman ain’t that hip.

Can anybody here find my friend John Gibbons?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
His GM is a lunatic, and the Jays look awfully tired.
He might be happy to be fired.

Anybody here know who’ll be next dismissed?
Open season on the skippers.
Is it Buddy Black, or Eric Wedge, or maybe Cecil Cooper
Whose career’s going down the pooper?

Posted 6/20/08Â