by James Finn Garner
A foul tip in the ol’ concertina
Has now clipped the Cards’ catcher Molina
A clout to the junk
Knocked him out for the month
But won’t flip Yadi’s stat to “Latina”
Fair Ball Lined into His Nuts
by Stuart Shea
The bigger they are, the more they hurt…
So Juan Uribe got a just dessert
With a liner in the groin.
And that’s not a roll of coins,
And he’s NOT happy to see you.
From GQ: Juan Uribe Has a Very Good Excuse for Not Wearing a Cup
Foul Ball, Section 18, Comerica Park, July 16
by James Finn Garner
These are the saddest of all possible words:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Flew up like a hawk and fell back like a turd.
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Ruthlessly pricking my gonfalon testes,
Causing me pain from my east to my westies,
Never again will I be at my besties:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Carl Crawford: The Poem
by Hart Seely
Carl Crawford, Tampa Ray,
Hit for power, raised the bar,
Stole the bases, then one day,
Took a lead one step too far.
Carl Crawford, playing hard,
His whole career, one great move up,
Flashing leather! Going yard!
And never tethered by a cup.
Carl Crawford,Tampa’s prince,
Three time all-star, no one’s fool.
Made this planet watch and wince.
A man with nuts, ground into gruel.
Carl Crawford, baseball great,
Stealing bases, climbing walls!
But when he steps up to the plate,
Here is the count: One strike, no balls.
Hart Seely runs the Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is….Caught, and never fails to laugh at a good nad shot.
Posted 7/25/10