Extra Innings – Page 26

Cringeworthy

MLB showcase
low-grade slo-pitch uniforms
sighs of disbelief

Cole Ragans
Believes that pagans
Get a bad rap in the papers
And also happen to be great landscapers.

Josh Naylor
Has a great tailor
Who crafts slacks for travel
That don’t unravel.

Isaac Paredes
Loves eating spiedies,
Burgoo, tamales, chislic, etouffee–
All the regional dishes of the USA.

Carlos Correa
Has nary a
Bad word to say
About the films and good works of Danny Kaye.

The Kenes/Judge first-inning showcase
Was anticipated,
And both the fans and commentators
Were elated
When — bells ringing — it occurred.

But it was a bit of a letdown:
No fireworks — an HR or strikeout —
When the Judge grounded out to third …
And then it was all over too soon.

Kirby Yates
Would follow a website that rates
The performances of Kate Winslet
Based on her accent.

Ketel Marte
Would eat banana cream parfaits
At every meal, but doesn’t because
His contract has a weight-gain clause.

Steven Kwan
Will drone on and on
About investing in Bitcoin
Because he’s got the acumen of a pork loin.

Trea Turner
Is a slow learner
3 times invested with Steven Kwan!
Man, that money’s gone gone gone…