Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Let’s give up a cheer for Yorman Bazardo!
He got his first win, didn’t make it look hard-o!
Let the shouts ring out in the Tigers’ ballyard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!
Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo! Bazardo!
Just try staying glum while yelling “Bazardo!”
It’s more fun than sex in a trough full of lard-o!
Bazardo! Bazardo! God help me !! Bazardo !!
Posted 9/17/07
“But with the Cubs, no matter what they do, it’s seldom enough.
Wait ‘til next year is here again in August.”
By Mike Kiley, Chicago Sun-Times, August 22, 2005.
Ernie Banks hit another home run.
Billy Williams hit another double.
Ferguson Jenkins pitched another shutout.
At the hot corner, Ron Santo had snagged another smash down the third base line.
Later, at the end of the game, Santo excitedly clicked his heels.
And yet, at the conclusion of a long season, the pennant was lost.
by Stu Shea
How can a man like Dmitri Young
Show such talent at bat?
He’s built like a jumbo marshmallow sundae
Topped by a tiny toy hat.
Of course, Babe Ruth was no Adonis,
And Mike LaValliere made his rounds.
Smokey Burgess, Ernie Lombardi,
Both weighed at least 500 pounds.
But in an age of hGH and “vitamin shots,”
It’s nice to see a guy like Young
Do so well with the physique he’s got.
When he lets it all hang, it’s fat that’s hung.
Posted 9/14/2007
A handspring
A handspring
A double backflip,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
Now watch the hits rip!
St. Louis
St. Louis
A loyal shortstop,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
He’ll land at the top!
Our favorite
Our favorite
Our regular guy,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
Monsieur RBI!
A triple
A triple
A rock & roll riff,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
He’ll steal in a jif!
Posted 9/12/07
By Stu Shea
Hunter Pence is intense
When he climbs the fence
Or knocks a high fastball right out of its stents.
The ‘Stros really stink
But already fans think
That Pence is the way to get out of the drink.
Without Hunter Pence
They’d fold up their tents—
Sans Pence, Houston’s Astros ain’t worth but two cents.
Posted 9/11/2007.