By Tom Gaines
Brian Schlitter
Threw a splitter.
Drank a Schlitz,
Then threw a spitter.
Posted 7/21/10
Superhero Night with the West Michigan Whitecaps
by James Finn Garner
.
To augment the human-sized, foam-rubber eyeball footraces
(Sponsored by a local optometrist)
And the hot wieners bazooka’d into the crowd
(Brought to you by an insurance agency)
And the horrible-hued disco dance contest
(Courtesy of Q-107–“You Can’t Stop The Rock”),
The special events crew rented costumes
Of Captain America and The Hulk,
Complete with stitched-in muscles,
And waved and flexed and danced and clowned.
In between,
Pitchers strained,
Batters swung,
Fielders pounced,
Dreaming of the show.
Posted 7/19/10
Chamberlain, That’s He
by David Bellel
Who is the man whose bad tosses will bring a loss?
Chamberlain, that’s he!
Who will surely fold when your team needs a hold?
Chamberlain, that’s he!
For he isn’t as proud of his name you see,
As a Sparky, Goose, or a Mo could be.
Who is the man that blows a lead every time he can?
Chamberlain, that’s he!
C-H-AMBER-L-A-I-N spells Chamberlain
Proud of all the Indian blood that’s in he;
Many a man can say a word agin he.
C-H-AMBER-L-A-I-N, you see,
Is a name that shame is usually been connected with,
Chamberlain, that’s he!
C-H-AMBER-L-A-I-N spells Chamberlain
Proud of all the Indian blood that’s in he;
Many a man can say a word agin he.
C-H-AMBER-L-A-I-N, you see,
Is a name that shame is usually been connected with,
Chamberlain, that’s he!
.
The sharp-eyed might recognize Harrigan here as one of the cast members of “The Wizard of OZ”.
David posts his thoughts on the Yankees and urban education at his blog Pseudo-Intellectualism.
Posted 7/16/2010
A Treatise on Baseball Names
By Bob Sheppard (1910-2010), longtime Yankees PA announcer
.
There are certain names that go over well,
Like Pena, Ramos, Carrasquel,
With liquid sounds so panoramic.
And strangely, they all are Hispanic.
Aurelio, Hipolito, Cecilio, Domingo
Have a lovelier sound than American lingo.
What native name could I ever tell so
Musically, as Valdivielso?
And no native name could ever show us
The splendor of Salome Barojas.
Posted in memory 7/11/10
Big Zzzzzzzzz
By Stuart Shea
Carlos Zambrano
Has pitched like bat guano
For the last two seasons or so.
Now Carlos Zambrano
Is the talk of the tawn-o
Since his little dugout show.
If Carlos Zambrano
Just wants to be gone-o
Many Cub fans will open the door.
“Cause Carlos Zambrano
Is making us pond’o
Whether he just can’t pitch any more.
Posted 7/2/10