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Mel Hall (Your Reward Has Just Begun)

by Sid Yiddish

Mel Hall

Thought he knew it all

That big ape

Doesn’t he know that rape carries a fine?

Plenty heavy like his deed

To satisfy his need

 

45 years is a mighty long time

To think about his crime

Is that what he said to his victim, while helping himself to a piece of the pie?

 

Back, back, back, hey, hey!

 

Goodbye!

 

Some time in the slammer, Mr. Hall

Think you know it all?

 

Your reward has just begun.

Just begun.

 

 

 

Doing 20 won’t be enough

 

Just ask the little girl

Whom he thought he could do it with

And get away while stealing

Her innocence.

 .

Posted 8/3/2009

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Name Recognition

by Rube Goldberg

But here the son broke in and said,
“These guys are new to me.
I never heard of Taft or Hughes
Or Bryan, honestly.
I never saw those queer old names
When looking through the score,
I’d understand you better, Pa,
If you mentioned John McGraw.”

Taken from Crazy ’08 by Cait Murphy.

Published 7/27/09

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Twin Killing

By Stuart Shea

When they finally knock down the Metrodome,
And the Twins move to their new outdoor home,
Will fielders lose balls in the sun and goof,
The way they did in the Teflon roof?

Published 7/22/09

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Making the Call

By Stuart Shea

Is it worse when an umpire blows a call
Or when a player–in righteous anger–makes a mockery of it all?

It’s hard to support bad umpiring work
But who wants to watch some player act like a jerk?

Why don’t we even it out.
Let’s increase fan applause-o.
Let’s make umpiring-baiting legal
And let plate umpires call batters out like Enrico Palazzo!

Published 7/20/09