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No Matter How Good

by Stu Shea

.

No matter how good
Or no matter how much,
We all know that know A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

Ignore how he’s gotten
The Yanks out of dutch.
The guys say that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

They’ll wave their statistics
And say such and such,
But we know that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

The radio told us,
And they’ve got the touch.
That’s how we know he can’t hit in the clutch.

All those smart guys can go back
And hide in their hutch.
‘Cause I say that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

Obama is Kenyan!
Health care’s a crutch!
And I know that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch!

.

Stu’s new book, Pink Floyd FAQ, containing everything you’ve ever wanted to know about Pink Floyd, is out now.  Buy it in bookstores or on the web.  Do it.  Now.

Posted 8/10/2009

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Ode to Scott Podsednik

by James Finn Garner

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Scottie Pods, Scottie Pods,
What were the chances?
Oh, what were the odds?

Cut by the Rockies because you’re too old–
Your step getting heavy, your bat growing cold–
The Pale Hose invite you back into the fold
And you climb your way back like the grinder of old.
Fans love a player still hungry and bold
Who refuses to note for whom the bell’s tolled.
In the hot summer night, the scoreboard explodes
As you dig hard to mine one more season of gold.

Scottie Pods, Scottie Pods,
What were the chances?
Oh, what were the odds?

.

Posted 8/6/2009

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Mel Hall (Your Reward Has Just Begun)

by Sid Yiddish

Mel Hall

Thought he knew it all

That big ape

Doesn’t he know that rape carries a fine?

Plenty heavy like his deed

To satisfy his need

 

45 years is a mighty long time

To think about his crime

Is that what he said to his victim, while helping himself to a piece of the pie?

 

Back, back, back, hey, hey!

 

Goodbye!

 

Some time in the slammer, Mr. Hall

Think you know it all?

 

Your reward has just begun.

Just begun.

 

 

 

Doing 20 won’t be enough

 

Just ask the little girl

Whom he thought he could do it with

And get away while stealing

Her innocence.

 .

Posted 8/3/2009

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Name Recognition

by Rube Goldberg

But here the son broke in and said,
“These guys are new to me.
I never heard of Taft or Hughes
Or Bryan, honestly.
I never saw those queer old names
When looking through the score,
I’d understand you better, Pa,
If you mentioned John McGraw.”

Taken from Crazy ’08 by Cait Murphy.

Published 7/27/09