By Stuart Shea
When they finally knock down the Metrodome,
And the Twins move to their new outdoor home,
Will fielders lose balls in the sun and goof,
The way they did in the Teflon roof?
Published 7/22/09
Making the Call
By Stuart Shea
Is it worse when an umpire blows a call
Or when a player–in righteous anger–makes a mockery of it all?
It’s hard to support bad umpiring work
But who wants to watch some player act like a jerk?
Why don’t we even it out.
Let’s increase fan applause-o.
Let’s make umpiring-baiting legal
And let plate umpires call batters out like Enrico Palazzo!
Published 7/20/09
A Twins Fan Meditates on the ’09 Twins-Yanks Season Series
By Kevin Hennessy
Four-game sweep at New Yankee Stadium
With two less walkoffs, we could have took two of ‘em;
Then swept three games at home in the dome
Maybe next year outside we might manage to win one.
A-Rod, Jeter, Teixiera, Cano
They all make it tough, no denying, I know.
But Cabrera, Gardner, Cervelli, and Coke–
Are these really Yankees, or regular blokes?
Gardenhire insists
There’s no mental angle,
But if that truly is so
Couldn’t one win be finagled?
Perhaps those Bronx Bombers inspire intimidation
And Mauer and Morneau alone can’t deny them
Losing all seven certainly wasn’t too great
But at least we can be grateful we aren’t playing eight.
Published 7/12/09
Ode to a Large Prince
By Stuart Shea
Prince Fielder,
Prince Fielder,
I think that you’re cool.
If you did a jackknife,
You’d empty the pool.
Published 7/8/09
YER OUT!
by Charles Ghigna
“Strike Three!” and I jump.
I’m in a big slump.
I’m down in the dump,
Can’t get over this hump.
You cross-eyed old ump,
You’re as blind as a stump.
Made me look like a chump,
You horse’s rump!
Published 7/7/09
Charles Ghigna is the award-winning author of more than 40 volumes of poetry for children and adults, including Score: 50 Poems to Motivate and Inspire. Find out more at his website, Father Goose.