Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Doug Fahrendorff
.
Removed from the game
To a chorus of boos
After walking in two runs
He sits alone
In the dugout
Cap pulled low
Expressionless
Watching the inning unfold.
Two years before
It had seemed easy
Fastballs painting the corners
Sliders snapping under opponents’ bats.
Sadly
Fans have short memories.
.
Posted 4/23/09
by Hart Seely
.
Anthony Claggett,
Your fastball, they flag it.
It floats like a maggot,
They wait there and tag it.
Throw harder, or bag it.
Anthony Claggett.
Anthony Claggett,
We’ll rip you in agate,
Your body, we’ll drag it.
Meet quim, you best shag it.
Or, otherwise, bag it.
Anthony Claggett.
.
Hart Seely is the author of Mother Goose Goes to Washington, as well as Oh Holy Cow: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto, newly released in a 15th-anniversary edition. He often hangs around the Yankee website, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught, offering tasteful and constructive comments to management and players alike.
Posted 4/21/09.
by James Finn Garner
.
Every kid thinks that he
Could mow down the heart of the Yankees order
If given the chance,
And someday everybody gets that chance,
And it’s good luck to talk to the ball,
And cheers are love that never dies,
And the world would love you if you showed them who you really are,
And magic can happen at any time.
That kid never dies.
That kid was the Bird.
.
In memory of Mark Fidrych (1954-2009)
Posted 4/15/09
By Stuart Shea
ANGELS
Without its K-Rod,
Sun-dappled Orange County
Prepares for a fight.
ATHLETICS
Green-and-gold adorned
Athletes play in stadia
Named for software.
RANGERS
In football country,
The titans of summer’s game
Proceed unnoticed.
MARINERS
Tho Junior returns,
Creaky knees and failing sight,
The M’s will blow chunks.
.
Posted 4/3/09
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
From dawn to midnight
Glistening sweat beads cover
Guillen’s press spokesmen.
TWINS
Sweet April moonlight
Means “farewell” if the Twins are
Without Joe Mauer.
INDIANS
Each cool autumn
Indians fans get just the
Thin end of the Wedge.
ROYALS
Gold Kansas wheatfields
Yield more each season than
Green fields at Kauffmann.
TIGERS
A solar eclipse
Can’t match the disappearance
Of Dontrelle’s control.
Posted 4/1/09