Posted on

Gary Sheffield’s Arms Too Short to Box with God

By James Finn Garner

I can be in the outfield and play every day.
I don’t want to DH.
I don’t feel like a baseball player
when I DH.

I don’t know how to be a leader that I am
from the bench.

I can’t be a vocal leader.
I can’t talk to guys from the bench
because
I don’t feel right about it.

A voice whispers, But you agreed to come to the Tigers knowing you would DH.

I

understood that,

but in my mind
I’m not going to
accept that.

That’s my role,
but I don’t have to
accept it
or
like it.

Taken from quotes in a Boston Globe interview, 8/11/08

Posted 8/25/08 

Posted on

Buy More Bonds

by James Finn Garner

Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds,
Won’t someone please buy Barry Bonds?

The burly man-child at 44
Surely can give something more.

While the Rangers could use his mighty bat,
Texas must have a big enough hat.

In Minnesota he could deliver the goods,
And spend days off prowling the woods.

In New York, the powerful media glare
Would show if there’s any personality there.

Washington would enjoy spinning turnstiles,
And be handy for the start of his perjury trial.

It’s time to move to make the playoffs this year.
Come on! He can give SOMEONE a shot in the rear!

Posted 8/18/08 

Posted on

Going Out A Winner

by Sid Yiddish
They send me to the showers early
Because I’m not good enough.
Sit me down on the bench and give me a good scolding.
I feel as if my future is folding, but I don’t mind, because I feel as I’ve worked harder at playing the game than anyone who’s ever played in my position.
Still, they tell me it’s not enough.
I still miss fly-balls and occasional grounders, too.
They tell me my throwing arm isn’t what it used to be, when firing from centerfield to tag the runner out at home and it’s not that I’m tired or old or have a reoccurring injury.
It’s just that I’m tired of the abuse that’s heaped on top of me, game after game after game by managers and coaches who read the playbooks all wrong and the owners that only want runs and hits and for the fans to keep on packing the place.
Perhaps this is the last inning for me.
Perhaps it’s time to retire, but it won’t matter.
I’ll still go out a winner.

Posted 7/24/08 

Posted on

Baseball Lightning

by James Finn Garner

It won’t be for his arm or savvy
Or the hits he gave up left and right.
What we’ll remember ’bout Geremi Gonzales
Is the way he would light up the night.

Posted in memory 7/21/08 

Posted on

What Made Milwaukee Famous

Unfortunately
The Indians see
Their destiny.

And obviously
It’s going to be
A white-flag party.

Apparently
They drink C.C.
in Milwaukee.

Posted 7/8/08Â