Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Change-up, change-up.
He makes hitters clowns.
It floats to the plate
And it sits right down.
Change-up, change-up.
Off mediocre “heat,”
You feel real comfy,
But still you get beat.
I wonder if Hoffman
Throws change-ups in bed
Or if Mrs. Hoffman
Likes it “dead red.”
By Stu Shea
Where’s Manny?
Where’s Manny?
All Boston’s getting clammy.
The Red Sox are in danger of a troubling declanny.
If “Manny being Manny”
Means pulled muscle or strained hammy,
Opponents dance and laugh
Because he can’t give them the whammy.
If Terry F. is canny,
He’ll come up with a planny
To help the Red Sox win it
Even if they don’t have Manny.
But if Coco’s cold and Papelbon
Cannot escape a jammy,
The Fenway Faithful might cry out
For someone else…like…Sammy?!
Posted 9/26/07
by James Finn Garner
Need a sad story? Check out Rick Ankiel,
Whose August exploits made Redbird fans feel
Like jumping for joy. Years past, after Rick’s
Stint as a St Louis hurler had passed,
He traded the mound for some outfield grass.
He leaped and he ran, and when swinging his stick,
He rang up the runs like a pinball machine.
Now there’s suspicion he’s not playing clean.
His once-mighty bat is now a limp wick.
While there’s no proof yet Rick took hGH,
The mess helped derail the Cards’ pennant stretch,
And this feel-good story now makes you feel sick.
Posted 9/25/07
What’s your favorite food?
What’s your favorite color?
Who’s your favorite player?
Mine’s Tommy Herr.
Who’s from Pennsylvania?
Who likes to play Second?
Who’s an All Star?
I bet it’s Tom Herr.
Who passed the torch?
The pro baseball torch?
Following footsteps…
His Dad is Tom Herr.
Who’s a Cardinal, Met, Twin,
And a Philly for sure?
Who’s the Giant of All?
You know it’s Tom Herr!
Posted 9/21/07
By Stu Shea
John McDonald made a play,
TOR-O-N-T-O,
And on this play he got two outs,
TOR-O-N-T-O,
With a great dive here
And a long throw there,
Here a dive,
There a dive,
Every day a great dive,
John McDonald made a play,
TOR-O-N-T-O.
Posted 9/18/07