Congratulations.
You have the record, Barry.
I still admire you.
L’Arte de la Guerrero
by Stu Shea
Sgt. Vladimir is waiting on the bench
To use his bat to dig a six-inch trench
So he can swing at pitches
He otherwise can’t reach
Using bats, or brooms, or switches
Kicking up both dirt and beach.
Sgt. Vladimir is hacking at the ball
And driving that hard sinker to the wall.
He hit it off his shoe tops
And drove in a pair of runs.
He’s more focused than a Cyclops,
And he’s having much more fun.
The Flight of Goose Gossage
by Sandy Marshall
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You are your own Bossage,
You have your own mitt that you sign and Embossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You always will Flossage,
Your round rolling stone will ne’er gather no Mossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You boot up with DOSsage,
You always predict the results of coin Tossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
Your car drives with Nossage,
And you play like you dance, like the winged Bob Fossage.
(Sandy’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)
Posted 8/3/07
Ode to My Favorite Relief Pitcher
by Thelma Parker
Tom Martin can really throw the ball,
And I think, but I’m not sure, that Tom is kind of tall.
If Tom Martin ever goes, I will cry.
That day will make me want to die,
I will not lie.
Tom Martin is like the sun
And I am the earth,
Revolving around him.
Tom Martin is the earth,
And I am the moon,
Mooning over him.
There is no pitcher ever as good as he.
He is in all of my fantasies.
I think that Tom should never get a day off,
It’s the only way the Rockies will ever make the playoffs.
Posted 7/31/07Â
Two from Millie Bovich
 Statistics required perusal
And then came a full-fledged accusal.
Some numbers do lie
Take a look at the guy,
They’ve proven a B. Bonds bamboozle!
Barry Bonds! He’s the muscle-bound Giant
With the rules, he is just non-compliant.
He comes extra large size
Check his biceps and thighs,
And his manner is somewhat defiant!
Posted 7/30/07Â