Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
1B Frank Brazill
2B Neal Finn
SS Swede Risberg
3B German Rivera
LF Luis Polonia
CF Thai Cobb
RF Frenchy Bordagaray
C Greek George
DH Chile Davis
P Al Holland, Dick Pole, Sergio Romo, Mark Portugal
MGR Tony La Russia
Shohei: How many years did you pitch?
Tommy: 26.
Shohei: How many after Tommy John surgery?
Tommy: Lucky 13.
Shohei: How many career home runs?
Tommy: 5.
Shohei: Oh. 166 less than me.
Tommy: And counting.
Shohei: I’m trying to unscramble my right arm.
Tommy: My left arm felt like it flew out to right field.
Shohei: Any advice?
Tommy: Dr. Frank Jobe said, “Replace the UCL.”
Shohei: Replace what?
Tommy: Elbow ligament with forearm tendon.
Tommy: Low odds of successful reconstruction.
Shohei: Let’s re-scramble.
Tommy: Ulnar.
Shohei: Lunar.
Tommy: What?
Shohei: Playing both ways was a moon shot!
Tommy: Collateral.
Shohei: LA call: “Tore.”
Tommy: Come again?
Shohei: Angels doc calls it a torn UCL!
Tommy: Ligament.
Shohei: Gilt amen.
Tommy: As in gold?
Shohei: Yes, amen to all the gold forsaken!
A torn UCL
Shohei sidelined from pitching
Angels woes got worse
The poem by Franklin P. Adams definitely enhanced
The Hall of Fame chances of Tinker, Evers & Chance,
But the other name in that infield has been lost to time
Just because Harry Steinfeldt’s name didn’t rhyme.
He hit for more power, he drove in more runs,
He made fewer errors, and when the game was to be won,
They leaned on Harry Steinfeldt, the World Series MVP,
Though his name was a mouthful, depriving immortality.
Reprinted from Rick’s book, EveryCubEver (2nd edition, Eckhartz Press).
Wade Meckler has had quite a week
of which he might not rather speak.
Two inside-the-parkers:
Luke Raley’s, Bryce Harper’s
Beat the outfielder at Hide-and-Seek.
Raley’s off-the-railing ricochet jobby six days ago
Harper’s elusive longball last night