by Michael X. Ferraro
The fans in the stands said,
“This foul ball or your life!”
Mookie said, “I’m thinking”–
In the Bronx, best bring a knife.
Wouldn’t Bet Against It
by James Finn Garner
With betting cash flooding in streams,
Could baseball Charlie Hustle redeem?
Likewise Shoeless Joe?
Tucupita Marcano?
The “good of the game” can play odds, it would seem.
MLB All-Autumn-Cozy-Like-Martha-Stewart Team
1B Canadian Goose Tatum
2B Pumpsie Spice Green
SS Luke Caramel Appling
3B Alex Decorative Gourdon
LF Tail Gates Brown
CF Walt “Turtleneck” Williams
RF Félix Pumpkin Pié
C Moses Fleecewood Walker
LHP Cliff Leefpile, Matt S’Moore
RHP Boof Bonfire, Aaron Rakers
MGR Hot Cyder Young
Pete Rose Won’t Get in the Hall
by James Finn Garner
(To the tune of that old song by Poison)
That Charlie Hustle had more hits
No one can deny
With that Dorothy Hammill haircut
We’d watch that face-first slide
He was one of the sparks of the Big Red Machine
Putting a little down on the side
Then he lied about it all
How he lied
That’s why it’s clear
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
He signed Rule 21 at the start of every year
It read “No Gambling” but some of that wasn’t clear
I guess he didn’t hear
Thought he could lead the team
But his ears worked right
When he asked at night, “You swear that you’re 16?”
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
Ain’t no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won’t get the commissioner’s call
(Not just ‘cuz they’re dead)
Pete Rose won’t get in the hall
The Oakland Blues
by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza
You lose a game,
And it hurts
Like a paper cut.
You don’t make the playoffs,
And it hurts
Like a broken nose.
You lose the last game of the World Series,
And it hurts
Like a Type III fracture.
You lose one hundred and twenty games,
And it still don’t hurt
Like having your heart ripped out.
Becuz’ in your world,
The hurt will heal
As you wait until next year.
Like a rainbow thief, the A’s owner
Has forever stolen the Green & Gold
And left only the Blues.
He’s stealing away,
Up Highway 80 to sAcrAmento,
Chasing a pot o’ gold to lAs vegAs.
The letter “A” has been ripped out of
The O*kl*nd *lph*bet.
And now he*rt sounds like hurt.
A broken old man sits crying
In the desolate Coliseum
With a cancer of the heart.
Becuz’ in his world,
The hurt will metastasize
On every Opening Day.
Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play on the Red Line sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.