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Rube Benton

by Michael Ceraolo

It’s better to be lucky than good
I wasn’t good:
I knew the Series had been fixed in ’19,
though I’ve always denied that I profited from that knowledge
(wink wink)
And though I fit the Commissioner’s definition
of someone who wasn’t strictly honest,
and though others had been banned for ‘guilty knowledge’,
I was lucky to be a pawn in the game
between the Commissioner and the league presidents,
so I was not banned, and was able to play
three more years in the majors
and then eight years in the minors after that

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Hank O’Day

by Michael Ceraolo

I was a player, manager, and umpire,
the only one to do that in League history,
and that eventually got me in the Hall of Fame,
but of course there’s only one thing everyone wants to know about
A few weeks before the Merkle incident
there was a similar scenario in a Cubs-Pirates game
I told Evers to go home, the game was over,
and wrote up the incident in the game report to President Pulliam
Many have criticized me through the years
for calling Merkle out on a technicality
for what was a common practice at the time,
but we actually called him out
because McGinnity interfered on the play,
which is hardly a technicality
And if I were consumed with technicalities
I could have ruled the game a forfeit to the Cubs
because the Giants couldn’t clear the field
I made what I think is the right decision:
calling the game a tie ended by darkness
First President Pulliam, and then the League Board,
upheld the decision,
and you know the rest of the story

 

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Hack Wilson

by Michael Ceraolo

I started life with two strikes:
born to alcoholic, unmarried parents
and probably suffering from what would come to be called
fetal alcohol syndrome
Mom dying when I was seven,
Dad pretty much abandoning me,
leaving school after the sixth grade
and working dangerous jobs;
none of those managed to strike me out
Baseball saved me for a number of years,
especially my good fortune
in having Joe McCarthy as a manager
I had a fantastic five-year run;
you know the numbers, especially the one
When the Cubs fired McCarthy
and replaced him with Rogers Hornsby,
that was the beginning of the end for me
I was out of baseball a few years later,
and my alcoholism was the third strike,
taking me out of life at forty-eight

Chicago Cubs Hack Wilson with bat
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Get a Grip

by the Brewer Haiku-er (@brewer_haiku)

The MLB wants to ban sticky stuff
But pitchers? “We just want to grip enough!”
The umps will investigate
Every Spider Tack hiding place
And come down on the sticky men tough.

Follow @brewer_haiku on Twitter to keep abreast of games in the Cream City, and other things too.

 

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Spider Tacky

by Hilary Barta

Some pitchers who try and get tricky
Will switch to a substance that’s sticky
When hitters allege
This gives them an edge
Hurlers bitch that the league is too picky.