Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Old Roger’s back on the hill,
Tryin’ to prove somethin’ to someone,
Mowin’ down hitters half his age,
Givin’ the AARP quite a thrill.
Old Roger’s campaign’s not done,
He’ll keep tryin’ to clear his name,
Hoping his Hall of Fame ticket is punched,
As he rides off into the sun.
I wonder if Roger is scared
Of knowing how little it means.
He’s no more than a coddled cheat,
And it’s been a long time since we cared.
So now, my friends, it’s come to this:
To redeem his chances for the Hall,
Ol’ Roger’s gone to deepest Texas,
Donned his jock and grabbed the ball
To show all pipsqueaks with the gall
To hint his chemistry’s amiss
That the wickedest PED of all
Is simply Lone Star, vinegar and piss.
He tried a ruse,
his website of connivance:
to create evidence
to block the truth,
to file a grievance
about his use,
to duck an investigation
of him & testosterone.
But the scheme unravelled.
Once MVP, he’s now suspended.
It has all tumbled far down,
cheers replaced by righteous frown.
Some have even snorted:
Melky should be deported.
Melky built a website and he tried to wipe his hands.
Melky’s gonna hear it from the stands.
Melky’s been suspended and his name is in the mud.
Melky signed a contract with his blood.
Home run king with the
most walks and most MVPs,
but struck out in court
Charles Ghigna (Father Goose) is a poet, children’s author, speaker and nationally syndicated feature writer. He has written more than 60 award-winning books of poetry and been reprinted extensively, even in the ACT and SAT tests.