Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Tony La Russa intentionally walked a batter
with two strikes and two outs
The next guy up hit a homer,
bringing Tony’s mind into doubt.
A head scratching choice
A questionable call
Tony swore the statistics
Would cause the Dodgers to stall.
But the Sox have a plan
to get back on the right track:
Swapping 77-year-old La Russa
for 87-year-old Connie Mack.
(Editor’s Error! This limerick was submitted in June of 2022, but was lost in the Inbox.)
“Tick, tick, tick”
A sound I never hoped to associate with baseball.
Sick, sick, sick
The thinking that baseball is dull.
Ick, ick, ick
The inside of Rob Manfred’s mind
Maybe that’s unkind
But some people are blind
To what makes baseball such a kick!
Jackie and Willie and many others
helped bring the stolen base back to the game;
I did my part, especially in the Series
I saw the asterisk nonsense
the Commissioner pulled
with Maury Wills and Roger Maris
and I vowed that wouldn’t happen with me
I know it was a different commissioner,
but I wasn’t taking any chances
on him issuing a similar ruling,
and I succeeded.
It’s been a rough stretch for the Pale Hose,
A title expected by friends and foes.
The thing to do, fast,
Is to write off the past
And send off Big T for a nice doze.
I’m not the billionaire owner
I was a catcher in the 1910s
I wasn’t much of a hitter,
though I was a pretty good defensive catcher;
the Big Train liked to have me catch him,
so that should tell you something
But being a backup backstop
wasn’t the most secure employment,
so I eagerly joined the Fraternity
when Dave Fultz formed it,
and I was active in the union,
serving as Washington’s player representative
The Lords weren’t having unionism,
even, and maybe especially, those
who had been active in earlier baseball unions
but were now in positions of power
And I was run out of the league,
and then run out of the majors a year later,
the eternal fate of the non-star
who dares to stand up for his and others’ rights
