Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The years fly by like “line drives.”
The “K’s” still haunt me and
the “RBI’s” are few in this
bottom-of-the-seventh game.
I try hard to even the score
with my lovable nemesis, Nature,
by tying the game and
going for extra innings.
Oh, yeah, I am up there swinging
in this twilight game.
Going for the fences,
and when I round third
and get Home, I will jump on it
with both feet.
25 games in
17 pitchers so far
Tommy John season
The early-season wear –
The epidemic elbow tear –
To pitchers so far this season
Is a fan’s worry-reason
For serious consideration
About his team’s rotation –
When season-ending surgery
Puts his team in jeopardy.
Was that stuff on Pineda’s neck
helping him pitch like the Eck?
The Red Sox requested
that it be ump-tested,
Now he’s out 10 games, plus a check.
Alexander Joy Cartwright, club member
Of the old New York Knickerbocker,
Declared 9 innings in 1845 –
Something we still keep alive.
Modern baseball’s inventor –
Tired of game disorder –
Called a dream field to order
When he gaveled “9” the number.
Now stirs a business suggestion:
Make baseball’s 9 a 7.
Why? Because the game’s too slow,
Because younger fans are “no-show.”
Mr. Cartwright worked with geometry,
Not with something fiduciary.
Since when, he might opine,
Is baseball governed by bottom line?