Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Men on first and second –
less than two outs.
A high fly ball hit between
short and second.
The shortstop glides over.
The sun sits bright
in a cloudless sky.
The umpire raises his right arm
high into the air.
Now the shortstop shields his eyes
with his glove and appears to stagger.
The runner on second
Retreats to the bag
To tag up.
The runner on first breaks for second.
Tsunami warning
updates preempt all programs
except Dodgers’ game
This year’s Opening Day
Was an odd Double Play.
March 20 opened with OD-One;
A delight if you were a Korean.
A week later was OD-Two;
A more traditional red, white, and blue.
What would Tinker, Evers, and Chance say
About baseball’s globalized Opening Day?
As Ernie Banks might smilingly argue,
“Fellas, here or there, let’s play two.”
The gods place bets with loaded dice,
And all our earthly dreams betray,
But listen to one clown’s advice,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.
The politicians scrounge for power,
With consequences we shall pay.
But somewhere, it’s our finest hour,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.
Our weary age is full of war,
The daily news brings dark dismay,
So surf the dreams worth living for,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.
April 9, 1976: Rudy Schaffer, Paul Richards and Chisox owner Bill Veeck ring in Opening Day at Comiskey Park.