by Hilary Barta
Slapping leather, the players array
And together, they’ll play for today
.     But my favorite team
.     Is a wavering dream
And, untethered, is traded away.
The Cream and the Clerihew (Biogenesis Edition)
By James Finn Garner and Stuart Shea
Alex Rodriguez,
A swing and a mezz.
To avoid having his paycheck shorn
Will take more than a magical unicorn.
Bud Selig
Don’t much dig
Guys who drug up to keep their bodies from wearin’
Unless, of course, they’re Henry Aaron.
Nelson Cruz
Is going to lose
If he appeals his case
And people throw his minor league records in his face.
Bud Selig
If he were like “Zelig”
Would appear at different points in time
And let others be punished for his crimes.
Jhonny Peralta
Didn’t say it wasn’t his fault-a.
He’ll take his suspension
To not jeopardize his pension.
Bud Selig
Is a useless relic
From when players did what they were told
And owners hoarded all the gold.
“Right Field” by Peter, Paul & Mary
A Poetic Crime, Clerihew and Simple (All-Star Edition)
by James Finn Garner
We live in the era
Of Mariano Rivera,
Which will serve to measure historic flow:
Dates will henceforth be noted either BMo or AMo (Before or After Mo).
Edwin Encarnacion
Handles his first base stacion
With skill and bravado
That is the toast of Canado.
Hernandez (Felix)
Somewhere in his DNA’s double helix
Has a velocity gene,
Thus his fastball is never seen.
Hiroshi Iwakuma,
According to ruma,
Pitches well in the state of Washington,
But I’m in bed before their games are done.
Four Ways of Looking at an All-Star
(With apologies to Wallace Stevens)
By Stuart Shea
Would the Cubs be good
Without Travis Wood?
(What the hell are you talking about?
They’re still 14 games out.)
J.J. Hardy
Is often tardy,
Which you can plainly see
From his OBP of .293.
Perhaps it is silly
To cite Jason Grilli
As a reason for the Bucs’ success.
But without him, it’d be a mess.
The Pods will have a scare-a
If Everth Cabrera
Is suspended as rumored–
Bud will be Black-humored.