by James Finn Garner
Dock Ellis dropping LSD
Yankee pitchers swapping keys
The Bird and Bill Lee spacing out
The Babe battling the clap and gout
While these actions might be reckless,
Modern players seem so feckless,
Corporate suits with all the spice
Of a Pepsi Lite with lime, no ice.
I want to bellow: “Why be normal?
“Show some life! Don’t be so formal!”
It’s more fun to watch Lee Van Cleef
Than cheer for Wally without the Beave.