by Hilary Barta
Stepping into the box he was preening
And then over the plate he kept leaning
So the pitcher got peeved,
And a splitter he heaved…
Now the show-off’s in shock from the beaning.
Bobby V
By Stuart Shea
Bobby V,
You’re killin’ me!
The Red Sox founder
In August flounder,
And Bobby V,
You’re so angry.
You bait the umps,
You say they’re chumps.
The Red Sox sink,
The rotation stinks,
And Bobby V,
It’s kind of funny.
Lessons from Professor A.J.
by James Finn Garner
Pierzynski’s older, get that straight
A few more grey hairs on the dome
But if no one bothers to cover the plate
That sonofabitch will steal home.
You may have Cespedes at third–
All over the infield he’ll roam–
But if you don’t keep Pierzynski close, my word!
That sonofabitch will steal home.
Humans can map the vastness of space,
Find Higgs-Boson, map the genome,
But if a player can’t cover his base,
Some sonofabitch will steal home.
Too busy to stay after class?
Here’s the lesson to take from this poem:
Stand around gawking with your thumb up your ass
And that sonofabitch will steal home.
Trout, Fishing in America
By Stu Shea
Isn’t it enough that he can hit a ball to hell?
Does he have to take away others’ home run balls as well?
Yes, he plays the outfield and runs like Joe D.–
What bait does one use to land such as he?
Carpe Tomorrow ?
by Barbara Gregorich
Now pales
beside Next.
Call waiting
beats call existing
.         every time.
Blue-star
free agents
glow brighter
than earthbound
team members
.         every time.
Never had
call waiting,
but if I did
I’d ignore it
.         every time.
I cheer
the team
that takes
the field —
and not the one
some baron’s
scheming.
.              Every time.
Barbara’s new book, Jack and Larry, chronicles the love affair between Cleveland slugger Jack Graney and Larry, the team’s American bull terrier mascot (the only live mascot ever used by a major league team) in verse form. Read more about it and order a copy here.