What is Baseball?

by Eddie Gold

Baseball is for all, regardless of religion or race,
And it’s the Babe blasting one into outer space.

It’s the banker sitting next to the guy without a job,
And it’s the base-stealing exploits of Tyrus R. Cobb.

It’s the vendors hawking scorecards, peanuts and ale,
And it’s Landis, the Czar, with his chin on the rail.

It’s pilots like Huggins, Mack, and Old Case,
And it’s a boner by Merkle, who skipped second base.

It’s Billy Sunday, from sinner to saint,
And it’s Willie Keeler, who hit where they ain’t.

It’s writers like Lardner, Rice and Runyon,
And its Wagner at bat, resembling Paul Bunyan,

It’s a crestfallen guy called Shoeless Joe,
And it’s the kid who pleaded, “Say it ain’t so.”

It’s opening day with the President in the park,
And it’s a homer by Hartnett, hit in the dark.

It’s nicknames like Dizzy and Dazzy, Pee Wee and Pants,
And it’s a double play by Tinker to Evers to Chance.

It’s the ornery cussing of Muggsy McGraw,
And the quiet temperance of Vernon Law.

It’s the pursuit of an asterisk by Mantle and Maris,
And it’s the Mats’ Boy Wonders, Cronin and Harris.

It’s the Giants Mathewson, who seldom would lose,
And it’s Taylor Spink and The Sporting News.

It’s the prayers for a pennant by a Brooklyn parson,
And a Series no-hitter by a guy named Larsen.

It’s the girl in the bleachers acquiring a tan,
And the hula-wiggle stance of Stan the Man.

It’s the training camps and the coming of spring,
And it’s Mr. Roberts, the first Robin of fling.

It’s the aroma of hot dogs, plain or kosher,
And it’s umpire-baiting by Leo Durocher.

It’s the blast by Thomson, with its thrills galore,
And it’s the 26-inning duel of Oeschger and Cadore.

It’s the pennant winner and the team in the cellar,
And it’s the blazing fastball of Bobby Feller.

It’s Hornsby, the Rajah, so brazen and bold,
And it’s Billy Martin, still knocking `em cold.

It’s Doubleday, Cooperstown and the Hall of Fame,
And it’s the band playing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.”

It’s the little leaguer and the kids at stick ball,
It’s rain checks, bubblegum cards, and most of all…

It’s America. Yes, BASEBALL IS AMERICA.

Foul Ball, Section 18, Comerica Park, July 16

by James Finn Garner

These are the saddest of all possible words:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Flew up like a hawk and fell back like a turd.
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.
Ruthlessly pricking my gonfalon testes,
Causing me pain from my east to my westies,
Never again will I be at my besties:
Foul ball bounced up in my nuts.

 

20-6, 7/25/11

By Stuart Shea

Twenty runs the Rangers scored,
Seven of them had three hits.
Every arm the Twins ran out there
Gave Ron Gardenhire the shits.

Weather Related?

by Hilary Barta

In the stands the fans stick to their seats,
watching batter turn red as a beet.
.     Jersey clinging, he schvitzes
.     He swings and he misses
The pitcher is bringing the heat.

Check out Hilary’s other limericks at LimerWrecks.

 

Williamsport

by Todd Herges

Where the dreams come from not everyone knows
but the fortunate few who the old coaches chose
stand straight now in two perpendicular rows
recite the good pledge, then take a few  throws.

The glare of bright lights, the cameras, the action
excite each young ballplayer’s loud hometown faction
and give tickled fathers some proud satisfaction
that’s tempered with hope, and a tinge of distraction.

A few in the Big Show once played on this stage
but so many more advance to old age
not reaching this peak of pure athletic rage –
a peak just a championship will assuage.

With fundraising over, long practices done
it’s time for the whole world to tune into fun:
to watch catchers gun and the fast runners run;
to see which team ends up on top, number one.

Regular contributor Todd Herges has passed along the exciting news that his son, Jack, plays on the new Nebraska state champ Little League team!  Congrats to Jack and the squad from Kearney!