Side Effect

by Greg Simetz

Taking a page
from Dan Quisenberry,
The sidearm delivery of Scott Effross
is becoming legendary.

Changing mechanics at 25,
lowering the release point to the belt,
Gave this Hoosier grad new life
causing his ERA to quickly melt.

He wears a Star-of-David necklace
and his 4-seamer is despised,
Now it’s opposing batter’s lumber
that’s getting circumcised.

He’s the stopper who won’t fumble,
exclaimed Cubs’ skipper Grandpa Ross,
Leaving flummoxed foes to grumble
“That effin’ Effross!”

 

Baseball and Key Lime Pie

by R. Gerry Fabian

I, somewhat surprisingly to me,
decide to go to the diner for lunch.
They seat me in a single two-sided booth
and I order a Diet Coke and glance at the menu.
In my head, I am currently rewriting the lineup
of my favorite professional baseball team
which has lost four straight games
because among other things,
they do not have a “closer.”
A woman is seated in the booth
next to mine while I continue
the play around with different lineups.
I am also considering a change at “closer.”
I look over at the woman who smiles
and I smile back, a polite casual smile.
“May I join you?” the woman asks
while moving across the aisle
and sliding into the seat across from me.
The waitress notices but makes no comment.
Almost simultaneously we both order the “special.”
When our sandwich platters arrive,
I feel her foot rub up against mine.
I smile. She smiles back.
We eat without conversation.
I am torn between the “closer” and her smile.
For dessert, she orders, “Key Lime pie and two forks.”
“Well, what do you think?”
“The pie is excellent.”
“Not the pie.” She scolds.
At that moment, I close my eyes as
the entire lineup falls into places
including the new “closer.”
When I open them, the check is next to me
and she is walking out the door.

 

Robin Roberts

by Michael Ceraolo

I could be stubborn:
staying with my fastball for a few years
after it had lost its effectiveness,
believing the commissioner was independent
despite mounting evidence to the contrary,
but eventually I adapted
I’m proud to have been instrumental
in bringing in Marvin to head our Association,
though I think by the end he had gone too far
I think the game needs a commissioner
chosen by all interested parties,
not just the owners,
so he or she can be truly independent
and act in the best interests of the game

Who's Your Daddy?" ... Robin Roberts Edition - Baseball Roundtable

 

The No No-No

by Greg Simetz

The fans in Cincinnati
Have been driven somewhat batty
By a ball club bound for doom.
Then hurlers Greene and Warren
Achieved a feat so rare and foreign
Finally cutting through the gloom.
Holding Pirate batters hitless
For eight innings, said one witness,
Appeared to seal a Redlegs win
But in a twist of fate so wicked
A fielder’s choice was committed
And they lost a no-hit gem.