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Goodbye, Cruel World, It’s Opening Day

by Hart Seely

The gods place bets with loaded dice,
And all our earthly dreams betray,
But listen to one clown’s advice,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

The politicians scrounge for power,
With consequences we shall pay.
But somewhere, it’s our finest hour,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

Our weary age is full of war,
The daily news brings dark dismay,
So surf the dreams worth living for,
Goodbye, cruel world; it’s opening day.

April 9, 1976: Rudy Schaffer, Paul Richards and Chisox owner Bill Veeck ring in Opening Day at Comiskey Park.

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Say It Ain’t Sho

by Todd Herges

He arrived to throes
of joyous anticipation.
Say it ain’t Sho…

He went on to meet
About ev’ry expectation.
Just say no, Sho…

Discussed everywhere:
an awful new revelation.
Say it ain’t Sho…

The baseball world torn,
with the Cooperstown bronze dulling.
Say it ain’t Sho…

He pitches! Hits! Bets?
Despite first throes, the bloom is off
… Ohtani’s Rose.

 

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I See You Guys

by Dusty Baker

I see you guys in the video room,
just looking at your swings,
reading all these stats.

At some point, you have to just say,
“F— all that s—”
and just go out there and hit.

All I hear is y’all talking about
launch angle
and tendences
and exit velocity.

F—ing exit velocity!?
Motherf—ing exit velocity?!
How about motherf—ing exit hits?!

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Respectable People

By Old Hoss Radbourn

No use in blinking
at the fact
that at that time the game was thought,
by respectable people,
to be only one degree above
grand larceny,
arson,
mayhem
and those who engaged in it were
beneath notice of
decent society.

Thanks to Jim Koenigsberger @Jimfrombaseball.