Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
here’s the thing
about spring
training I never
knew more than
I do now
it was always
all about hope,
the way it brings
back to us
the only year
that matters —
the baseball season
that’s the reason
why we need it now
more than ever
we’re out of shape
for hopefulness
Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff.
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp.
Your drapes caught fire from a knocked-over lamp—
. Relax!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp—
. Smile!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your yard is now split by a new freeway ramp.
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp.
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp—
. Life is good!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
After a 60-game season, they crowned LA champs,
While you’ve started a book club with all your house plants,
And will never go out again if it involves pants,
. Life goes on,
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
First posted 2/13/2008; updated 2/18/21
One by one, these men
who once graced my baseball cards
cross the great divide
On the ’66 Dodgers
I was the youngster on a staff of mostly veterans,
and I learned all I could from them
I couldn’t learn to throw a fastball or curve
like Koufax, that’s something that can’t be taught
But there were a couple of others
I could and did learn some tricks from
(wink wink)
I won’t rat them out even posthumously;
they know who they are,
and they have my eternal gratitude
I must have seen Hank Aaron play
at Wrigley Field in nineteen
fifty nine
But it was my first baseball game,
I knew little about the sport
at the time
But I did see him hit number
seven hundred and fifteen
on the TV
in nineteen seventy four so
I am happy to have that
memory