Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer
On the North side and the South side, the sun is shining bright;
“Go, Cubs, Go” and “Na na na na” are heard both day and night;
Both Yuppies and construction guys are given cause to shout;
Yes, there’s joy in two Chicagos — winning baseball’s the new “clout”.
No, he didn’t trip over a goat
There’s no curse we can soberly note
Running hard was the reason
Schwarber’s marred for the season
One collision and that’s all she wrote.
Rockies’ mountain high
Trevor Story’s spring debut
6 home runs, 4 games
Oh, where in the world is Mark Buehrle?
For him to retire’s too early
John Danks could be dumped
Put Mark on the bump
He’d be an improvement, quite verily
White Sox Adam LaRoche walked away
From big contract and team. “I won’t play
If I can’t bring my kid,
All the time; always did.”
Sad “Good Fam’ly Man” used son that way.
While “good father’s” sound bite sounds pleasin’,
I’m cynical of noble reason.
Think “Mendoza Line” Dad,
Once set precedent bad,
While his teammates’ rights he’s been squeezin’.
Think unfair to think offspring should be
Work space feature set permanently.
What if some other dad
Does same, brings kid that’s bad,
Disrupting work place family?