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What Vet Should I Get?

by Hart Seely

What vet should I get?
Who doesn’t put me into debt.
A pitcher like A.J. Burnett…
What vet should I get?

A Price would be nice!
I wouldn’t think twice!
I’d certainly bite
If the Price is right.

I could get a Cole Hamels,
For my best Scranton mammals,
Who might be Allan Trammels!
(Plus a carton of Camels.)

I could get a Martin Prado,
For a year’s supply of Play-Doh.
If I got a new Craig Kimbrel,
My bullpen would be downright crim’nal!

I could get Aroldis Chapman,
What would Boston think of THAT, man?
Or I’d settle for Mike Leake,
Though that name has me feeling bleak.

What vet should I get?
And trade a guy we’ll soon forget.
Who won’t become the next George Brett.
What vet should I get?

 

 Hart Seely is head honcho of the indispensable Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is . . . caught. He does not ghostwrite for the estate of Dr. Seuss.

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A Challenge for Poets

by Stuart Shea

What the heck rhymes with Kyle Schwarber?

Well, ’60s jazzer Alan Lorber,
And that dancing Greek named Zorber,
And folk singer Steve Forber(t),
And . . .
And . . .

I’m at the bottom of the pail,
And I don’t want him to fail . . .
But his name is odd, I fear,
So he may not have many poems here.

 

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Old Name, New Audience

by Stephen Jones

In The Land of the Second Chance,
Remorseful A-Rod did repentance,
Will not be going to Cincinnati.

Few will shed tears about this, most likely,
But truth be told–he served his time.
Reality is: He’s passed his prime.

Now it’s marquee time . . . for Harper, for Trout.
And A-Rod? He’s simply lost his clout.

 

 

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…of All That is Seen and Unseen…

By Stuart Shea

Never got to see
Parc Jarry.
Ebbets and the Polo Grounds
Remained unfound.
Forbes Field
To me unrevealed.

But I did run with glee
Through old Comiskey
And Tiger Stadium
Was like a palladium
And Milwaukee County
An endless bounty.

Dank, damp, and rusty,
Outmoded and fusty,
But to me much more fun
Than Wrigley, say, has become.

 

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Rookie Debut (Yankees 14, KC 1)

by Stephen Jones

Yesterday, a kid–Slade Heathcott–
Hit his first big league home run.
In the majors for only a week,
He hadn’t even seen his team win.

But the Yankees put their slide on hold
And waxed KC’S Guthrie but good.
Maybe Steinbrenner’s ghost had paid
The Yankee locker room a visit.

Maybe Slade saw the ghost as well,
Maybe he was just glad to be alive,
Because he smacked a ball over centerfield
And called the experience “surreal”.